| |
|
 |
The Siege of Syrn: Part II
Posted by Josiah T., Nov 24, 2007. 132 views. ID = 339
This post was written in 20 minutes.
|
 | Trying to develop Dirk's character a bit more. Not sure how good a job I'm doing, but anyway, enjoy! :-) |  | This post has been awarded 7 stars by 2 readers. |  | This post is Part 2 of a writing series titled The Siege of Syrn. |
The army marched on. And on. And on. Dirk began to sweat under his armor as soon as the sun began climbing. He removed the skullcap from his head and continued on, keeping in pace with the rest of the army.
At noon they were allowed a brief rest and a bite to eat. The food consisted of army rations - two lumps of green cheese and two hunks of bread filled with maggots.
Each soldier was responsable for his own water supply, but they were never allowed to fill it while they were marching. Dirk's water skin only had a few drops left, so he drained it and went to find a stream to fill it in. He followed another young man who was also holding an empty water skin.
Reaching him, Dirk said "Hullo, are you looking for water?"
Startled, the other man said "Yes, I heard that there was a stream this way, so I thought I'd fill my skin while we're stopped."
"Good idea." Said Dirk. The man looked young, but a thin layer of stubble covered his chin and cheeks. Looking over him, Dirk said "Are you new to the army?"
"Well, I joined last year, after training. Just my luck that my regiment would be called to service." The young man scowled. "I don't believe I've introduced myself. I'm Arem, son of Araim."
Dirk offered his hand. "I'm Dirk, son of Caler. Pleased to meet you. I felt the same way as you, when I heard that I was being called into active service. But then it wore off, because I really needed to get away from where I was."
"Why was that? If you don't mind my asking, sorry."
"Don't be. I don't care. I could use a freind. Anyway, I ran away from home at age sixteen to join the army. My father was not impressed when he heard what I'd done. Unfortunately, after I finished the official training, my regiment was stationed the next town over from my home town, so my father liked to make it a habit of visiting me and telling my how I'd disgraced him and broken my mothers heart."
A horn sounded a little ways away, signaling the end of the rest period, and the formation of the columns again. The two made their way back toward the body of men now forming ranks.
As they walked toward the mass of people, Dirk wispered to Arem, "I don't know why I'm telling you this, because I'm not in a habit of telling my life's story to people I've only known for five minutes, but thank you for listening. I needed to tell someone that."
Arem replied, "There's something about you, I don't know what it is, because ordinarily I'm like you, but," And here he dropped his voice even lower, "I did the same thing too!
Copyright 2007 Josiah T.. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
Comments Katie Nov 26, 2007 | Interesting. *goes to read part III*
btw, you spelled "friend" wrong again... ~Posted by Katie, Nov 26, 2007 |  Josiah T. Nov 26, 2007 | Did I? Arrrghh... ~Posted by Josiah T., Nov 26, 2007 |  Douglas Nov 26, 2007 | Okay, I'm back reading this one again. I didn't like this part as well as the others. I think it's because there's no explanation for the two guys baring their souls to each other within minutes of meeting each other. I know your boy says he doesn't understand why he's doing it, but even if he doesn't know the reason, there has to be one, and as the reader, I want to know one of two things:
1. what that reason is, OR 2. assurance that there IS a reason, which will be revealed to me in due time.
my gut feeling is that you, as the writer, don't know the reason either. :) ~Posted by Douglas, Nov 26, 2007 |
|
|
|
|