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A Life without Google: A student tries to cope without a research site
Posted by R. Wesley Lovil, Jan 13, 2013. 993 views. ID = 6074

A Life without Google

Posted by R. Wesley Lovil, Jan 13, 2013. 993 views. ID = 6074
This post was written in 13 minutes.
Research the old fashion way
This post has been awarded 14 stars by 3 readers.

"911, what is your emergency?"
"Help, help, I'm in dire straits, I don't know what to do."
"Now try to calm down sir, just tell me what is wrong. Are you experiencing any chest pain?"
" Chest pain, what, no I'm not having a heart attack, its way worse than that, I can't get on to Google I..."
"Excuse me sir, you mean you're calling 911 because a website is down? This number is for life threatening emergencies only, I'm hanging up now and if you call again with no good reason I'll have you arrested."

She hung up on me, didn't she understand, this was far worse than life threatening, this could mean an F, this could mean I'd lose my scholarship. There was no way I could finish my paper if I couldn't research it on Google. Wait a minute, if I can't get on that means that no one can get on, Professor Dustybottoms would have to give us a break, or at least extend the deadline until Google is back up. I decided to go to his office and see if this was possible, of course Dustybottoms isn't his real name we just call him that because he's so old fashion and out of step he must have dust in his bloomers. When I got there, his office was closed but there was a note on the door that said he'd be in the library. Sure, the library had bigger computers I bet they could get on the website, ol' DB was smarter than he looked.

"Gather around students, I've been told that some website is down and therefore you wish me to grant you more time for your assignment. Well that is not going to happen but because I have such a good heart I set up this meeting to show you how we researched papers before there was a Google, or websites or even computers."
Oh great ol Dustybottoms' eyes were starting to glaze over like they do when he talks about the olden days before they had electricity or cars.
"When we had research to do we would go to the library to look it up in the encyclopedias or other reference books they kept there."
"But Professor Mottom there must be a gazillion books here how do we know which one to use?"
"Ah, young Lawrence, you talk with almost as much hyperbole as you put in your papers, but yes there a lot of volumes here, yet not nearly as many as the websites on your cursed internet. However, just like the net, you familiarize yourself with them and soon you learn to use the ones that will help the most with your research."

Books, I shoulda known Dustybottom wouldn't help, I guess I'm doomed to flunk out. Maybe I could find a job for a college dropout in one of these books. I randomly picked out a book and just opened it to a section titled, 'William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton, forty-second president of the United States'. This was just the reference I needed to write about an old time president and it was all right here in front of me. I just might pass this class after all. Just then I heard a cheer and someone yell, 'Google is back up', oh thank god, I put the book back on the shelf and got out my phone like any self-respecting student of the twenty-first century.

Copyright 2013 R. Wesley Lovil. All rights reserved. has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.

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This post has been awarded 14 stars by 3 readers.
This post is part of a writing prompt: Website Troubles!

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