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Texting 101: Is this a class of the future?
Posted by R. Wesley Lovil, Jan 16, 2011. 1127 views. ID = 4303

Texting 101

Posted by R. Wesley Lovil, Jan 16, 2011. 1127 views. ID = 4303
This post was written in 14 minutes.
A university's attempt of relevance
This post has been awarded 11 stars by 3 readers.

"Good morning class and welcome to Texting 101. It's been said that an infinite numbers of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters could..."
The professor looked up from his lectern to a sea of blank stares. He should have known none of these students had ever seen a typewriter and probability most had no idea what one was. He knew this class was going to be a disaster, with a pass or incomplete grading system these people only cared about the class credits. He felt powerless and he knew he was no longer an educator but just an accessory in the university's system of collecting tuition and funds from his students and their parents. This morning he couldn't get the thought out of his mind that he should have taken that job at Starbucks instead of becoming a professor. Nonetheless, he knew he needed to carry on so he began anew.
"Never mind about monkeys and typewriters, let's talk about today's assignment. Our mainframe will text to each of you an opening line and will then communicate back to you continuing the dialog as you send it. Remember we are trying for prose here so keep that in mind as you text. Oh and one more thing this is Texting 101 not Sexting 101, so please no pictures of body parts or actions of said parts."

The professor hit the send button on his mainframe and immediately heard the cacophony of chirps, buzzers, and assorted sounds of the student's cells informing them of incoming texts. His screen blipped as already he had a return text, 'Kul' was all it read, oh, this was going to be a long semester.

Later that day for he knew he had no choice, he logged into the mainframe and began to check the students work. As the students returned their texts, the mainframe tried to translate them into prose.

(Mf) Young couple in love but their parents hate each other. Girl name of Julie waits to hear from her lover named Romey.
"Romey my <3 where ru" Translation: "O Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?"
(St) "I b here sup?" Translation: "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun"
(Mf) "Deny ur father & so wil I, then our <3 will last foever" Translation: "Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet."
(St) "Its jus a nam do u care" Translation: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet"
(Mf) " Goodnight sweet prince." Translation: "Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow."
(St)"Lator" Translation: ???

The professor had to stop, he couldn't put up with any more, and yet he had to admit it was the terrace scene from Romeo and Juliette. Did that mean this class was working, that remained to be seen? Maybe if you had an infinite number of textors the classics would be eventually written. He should have taken that Starbuck's job.

Copyright 2011 R. Wesley Lovil. All rights reserved. has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.

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This post has been awarded 11 stars by 3 readers.
This post is part of a writing prompt: Texting 101

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