Rabbit Stu: Fifteen Minutes Of Fiction

Spinning Top

When all the world is spinning fast and wild,
More swiftly than the fastest children's top,
I wish that I could pause to take a breath,
But oh, the mess if it should ever stop.

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Rabbit the Poet

There once was a poet named rabbit,
And he had a terrible habit
Of walking away,
(To his readers' dismay),
And not writing poems, dagnabbit!

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Limericist

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who tried very hard to write lim'ricks
But ended up drawing a blank.

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My Culinary Masterpiece

My recipe begins with just a smidge
Of things I find left over in my fridge;
A bit of tartar sauce, a pickled beet,
A cup of curdled milk and myst'ry meat,
A chunk of cheddar cheese that's green,
A bit of coffee grounds, just for caffeine.
I mix in sugar, eggs, three cups of flour,
Then set the timer for a half an hour.
The smell that gently wafts throughout my home
Is like the sweet bouquet of fresh-turned loam.
My mind is dizzy with the happy thought
Of this, the masterpiece that I have wrought.
Oh, how I do adore my Easy-Bake,
So come, my friend, and have a piece of cake!

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Mindless Colts

Springtime is the season when mankind
With clumsy steps, like newborn, mindless colts
Will stumble, deaf and dumb and wholly blind
Upon the tip of Cupid's deadly bolts.
If men are fools on every vernal day,
Then April 1^st should last from March to May.

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Snake in the Grass

There's a snake in the grass, and he slithers about;
And his fangs drip with venom, his tongue lashes out,
And his lidless green eyes, with unblinking intent,
Seek an unwary victim to cruelly torment.
I met him this morning while walking to school,
And decided to be just a little bit cruel;
With a long maple branch that was sharp as a file
I just poked him and teased him and prodded awhile.
Well, I thought my new friend was enjoying the game,
But I guess that the serpent did not feel the same.
With a switch of his tail and a long angry hiss,
He attempted to give me a venemous kiss,
But I'm not a fool, and in fact I'm quite clever,
I just used what I had to impede his endeavor.
And that, Mrs. Williams, is the full, complete story,
In all of its wonderful, marvelous glory.
So you see that detention's an unfair confinement -
If you'd believe that a serpent would eat my assignment.

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Some Day...

My friends insist that I am not creative,
But they're all wrong, and I will surely show 'em.
Some day my brain won't be so vegetative,
And I will write a brilliant epic poem.

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Phobia

Mankind is filled with fears of every sort;
To be a phobic is a trendy craze.
Each one can find a group that lends support,
That gives them courage in their darkest days.
A fear of dirt or sea or cows or heights,
A fear of numbers, letters, squares or spheres -
Though many things can give a dreadful fright,
Take courage; others share your many fears.
But I am different the phobic masses;
The twelve-step program didn't work for me.
I tried support groups, and the many classes;
I couldn't go, nor could I stay, you see,
For I am not just very claustrophobic,
I'm also quite a bit agoraphobic.

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Pollution

Of all the troubles earth has ever faced,
My teacher says the worst is acid rain
And dirty filthy smog and toxic waste,
From all those cars and trucks and trains and planes.
She says that we must work at conservation,
Every one must make a sacrifice,
Both individual and corporation -
All must pay a steep and costly price.
But I must say, I disagree with her,
Just one small sacrifice should be required;
I know for sure that you will all concur,
For my solution's brilliant and inspired.
Concerned about pollution and ozone?
Don't let my brother use so much cologne.

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A Clarinet Is a Fine Instrument

Whene'er the clarinets began to play,
Old Hector cringed and scowled into his brew.
"They're really not that bad," he'd always say,
"When ground up fine and sprinkled in my stew."

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