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The Family Picnic
Posted by Michael K, Nov 13, 2007. 181 views. ID = 308
This post was written in 18 minutes.
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"I'm hungry," a small, whining voice declared.
"Well, Billy, come join the rest of us! There's plenty of food for everyone!" This voice was a bit more mellow - perhaps Billy's mother.
The whining youngster continued, "I don't like picnics, and I don't like picnic food. Why can't we eat indoors like everyone else?"
"Oh, shut up, Billy," a third voice said. It was an insistent, irritating voice. "Just because you're afraid the great outdoors doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer."
"I'm not afraid, dummy. I just think it's too cold to be out here, and the food is gross."
"Cold blooded freak."
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"Go eat a lizard, cold blooded freak."
"Lizzy Lizzy Lizard Breath," Billy said. Apparently the third voice was Lizzy. His sister, maybe.
"Shut up, Billy Goat."
"Parasite," the boy replied.
"What's a parasite?" the girl asked.
"You are."
"Oh yeah? Well you've got a fat head."
"Better a fat head than a fat nose."
"Children!" their mother snapped. "That's enough. Now gather around and have some supper!"
Dutifully the family gathered around, and waited for mother to take the first bite. Soon Lizzy was joining in, while Billy stood by watching in disgust at their eating habits. Since he wasn't eating, Billy was the first one to notice the danger descending upon them all. "Mom! Lizzy! Watch out!"
But it was too late. The entire family was smashed and smeared and splattered in one tragic instant.
You know, I wish I didn't understand what those droning, whining voices were saying; it actually makes me feel guilty about killing mosquitoes.
Copyright 2007 Michael K. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
Comments
Michael K
Nov 13, 2007 | the idea for this came from the fact that only female mosquitoes bite us.
~Posted by Michael K, Nov 13, 2007 |
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