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Suing Santa Claus
Posted by Michael K, Dec 9, 2007. 211 views. ID = 390
This post was written in 9 minutes.
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 | If I have time this week, I plan to turn this into a series of letter exchanges between Mr. Santa Claus and the lawfirm. |  | This post has been awarded 12 stars by 3 readers. |  | This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled Santa's Bureaucratic Troubles. |
Dear Mr. Claus,
My name is J. M. Shrew of Loveless, Hateful & Shrew. I represent Mr. James Woodrill, who applied for a position in your toy factory on Sept 17, 2007. Mr. Woodrill's application was rejected on the grounds that Mr. Woodrill is not an elf, and is therefore unemployable by you.
Mr. Woodrill will be suing Claus Enterprises for racial discrimination. Mr. Woodrill will be seeking damages in the amount of $1,000,000.
Warm Regards,
J. M. Shrew
Loveless, Hateful & Shrew
Dear Mr. Shrew,
I regret to inform you that Mr. Woodrill has misrepresented the situation. We did, in fact, receive an application from Mr. Woodrill to work in our Toy Factory. However, we never told Mr. Woodrill he could not work in the toy factory because he is not an elf. What we told him is that the toy factory is only four feet tall, and therefore only elves can fit through the door. We assured Mr. Woodrill that we do have employment opportunities for people who are taller than 4 feet. These include security work, snow removal, and maintenance.
If Mr. Woodrill is interested in filling out an application for one of these positions, we would be happy to consider him.
Merry Christmas,
Old Saint Nick, CEO
Claus Enterprises
Copyright 2007 Michael K. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
Comments
Josiah T.
Dec 9, 2007 | Excellent! Can't wait to read more... :-)
~Posted by Josiah T., Dec 9, 2007 | 
Katie
Dec 10, 2007 | Haha! I agree with Josiah. :-)
~Posted by Katie, Dec 10, 2007 |
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