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Four Campaign Promises: If I elected, I promise to never lie, I promise to reform our social security, and improve our working conditions and wages. And one more thing.
Posted by Michael K, Oct 14, 2007. 2417 views. ID = 164

Four Campaign Promises

Posted by Michael K, Oct 14, 2007. 2417 views. ID = 164
This post was written in 13 minutes.
This post has been awarded 29 stars by 9 readers.

I don't come to you today with fine, flowery words, designed to tickle your fancy like a soft feather. I don't come to you with a truckload of vain promises about how everything will change once I am elected. I come to you with only four promises.

First, I promise that I will never lie to you. Our political process is full of unscrupulous fools who want nothing more than to rule the roost, and they will tell any lie to earn that place of power. But I, I am not like that. I don't mean to crow, but you'd have to comb the entire countryside to find a candidate as honest as I am.

Second, I promise to reform our social security system. We are perched on the edge of a new era of our civilization. In the twenty-first century, no one should have to worry about the future. We all like to think that if we set aside a little nest egg now, that's an investment that will protect our futures. And I say: That is as it should be!


Third, I promise to improve working conditions and raise the minimum wage. When you compare our work done, and our wages, to the work and wages of others around the world, it's just plain absurd. Our workers are cooped up all day long in tiny little cubicles, and what do they get for it? Friends, our wages are so miniscule it makes me cry. We're getting chicken feed, compared to the wealth all around us!

And, to go along with that, my final promise is this: No more getting up with the sun. I mean it. Sleep in as long as you like. If you elect me to rule the roost, this is one rooster who won't be going cock-a-doodle-doo at the break of day.

I like my sleep too.

Copyright 2007 Michael K. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


   
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This post has been awarded 29 stars by 9 readers.
This post is part of a writing prompt: My Campaign Speech

Comments


Michael K
Oct 14, 2007
I hope you noticed a few puns in this piece of writing. There were...uh I think nine puns.
   ~Posted by Michael K, Oct 14, 2007

Janee
Oct 15, 2007
Well, I see a few puns, but I sure don't see nine of them!

rule the roost, crow, comb, nest egg, chicken feed...
   ~Posted by Janee, Oct 15, 2007

Katie
Oct 15, 2007
Great job with the puns! :-)
   ~Posted by Katie, Oct 15, 2007

jamesbrown
Oct 17, 2007
"vain promises", maybe as in "weather vane"? with a rooster on top?
   ~Posted by jamesbrown, Oct 17, 2007

Michael K
Oct 18, 2007
yes, that was perhaps the weakest of the puns. I tried to figure out a way to make "truckload" into a pun (as in a truckload of chicken ... refuse), but just couldn't make it work
   ~Posted by Michael K, Oct 18, 2007



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