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You were there: I have been working on this for some time now.
Posted by Mathax, Apr 2, 2008. 2188 views. ID = 1022

You were there

Posted by Mathax, Apr 2, 2008. 2188 views. ID = 1022
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This post has been awarded 20 stars by 5 readers.
This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled God.

The stars had not yet been made.
The moon and the earth had not been formed.
The sun had not been created yet.
You were there.

You made all of the stars,
All of the moons,
The sun and all of her planets.
You were there.

You where there
Down through history.
You made the earth.
You were there.



You took the initiative
When I was deep in sin.
You sent your son to die
On the cross of Rome.
You were still there.

But He did not stay dead.
He arose from the tomb on the third day.
You were still there.

You are going to be here
Until the end of time.
You are here.

The stars will hang low in the sky,
The moon will have set an age ago,
And the sun will turn red.
You will be there.


Copyright 2008 Mathax. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


   
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This post has been awarded 20 stars by 5 readers.
This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled God. The next part of this series can be found here: Jesus.
This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version

Comments


Douglas
Apr 2, 2008
This is very nice Mathax. There are a few things about it that puzzle me. First, you're not very consistent with your tenses. For example, in the first stanza, you have "had been" and "is" which are different tenses.

I don't have time right now, but someone might be willing to help you work through those.

The other thing is, it's not clear to my why in one stanza you switched from "you" to "he".

Overall, a nice piece of writing. :)
   ~Posted by Douglas, Apr 2, 2008

Douglas
Apr 2, 2008
On the You/He comment, I see now why you did that - it's a Father/Son distinction. However, having one stanza about "he" instead of "you" does seem a bit jarring. I don't know if there's a good way to change that.
   ~Posted by Douglas, Apr 2, 2008

WOW
Apr 2, 2008
Nice job!
   ~Posted by WOW, Apr 2, 2008

Kenzie Fell Down
Apr 4, 2008
Cool.
   ~Posted by Kenzie Fell Down, Apr 4, 2008

MissAnnie
Feb 21, 2011
I love it!
   ~Posted by MissAnnie, Feb 21, 2011



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