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The Adventures of the Setequarl X
Posted by Mathax, Jan 31. 119 views. ID = 541
This post was written in 23 minutes.
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Captain Richard, Joesph, and Rebeeca, are in the officers mess.
"You know," Said Captain Richard, "we have had a very busy time since we left home."
"Yeah, I know," Replied Joesph, "Let's see, we were attacked, saved Vica's life, Had first contact with 2 different Spiccies, had negotiations."
"I would like a definition of a 'normal' day,'' Said Rebeeca, "We have not had one yet, I think."
"Well what more would you want," joked Richard, "I mean we have had a lot of work isn't that whet our job is?"
"Well," Said Rebeeca, "I suppose it is,"
"I just remember someone we really need," yelled Joesph, "a doctor, we left port with out one."
"You are right," said Richard, "I will dispatch a message to earth to ask for one."
He left.
"I'd better be going," Said Joesph.
"Why," Asked Rebeeca, "Are you not comfortable being here with me alone?"
"Not entirely," Said Joesph.
Copyright 2008 Mathax. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
Comments
Mathax
Jan 31 | I am trying to figure out where to go from here.
~Posted by Mathax, Jan 31 | 
Douglas
Jan 31 | I've missed the last couple entries in this, but I just noticed something you might want to be watching out for...
You are not consistent in your verb tenses. Any time someone says something, you use past tense verbs (said, joked, asked, etc) but other actions/verbs are present tense (are, leaves)
You can make everything past tense, or everything present tense, but the mixing of tenses isn't generally considered good practice.
~Posted by Douglas, Jan 31 | 
Kenzie Fell Down
Jan 31 | Maybe a new planet where the only intelligent life forms seem to be grumpy plants? I think that'd be pretty cool.
~Posted by Kenzie Fell Down, Jan 31 |
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