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Confessions of an Addict: Taking the first step to recovery.
Posted by Sylvan Sylph, Jun 23, 2008. 2489 views. ID = 1413

Confessions of an Addict

Posted by Sylvan Sylph, Jun 23, 2008. 2489 views. ID = 1413
This post was written in 14 minutes.
Addictions these days are running rampant, with people being addicted to anything from drugs, alcohol, and sex to food and video games. It seems that anything can be an addiction. So I thought it was time I confessed. It seems to be the popular thing to do.

I tried to keep this piece feeling a little less polished, more like something you'd hear someone saying on the street or maybe in an AA meeting.

I had intended this to be a tongue-in-cheek self-mockery of my own obsession, but somewhere along the line I realized that it's something of a commentary on how I feel about our society's tendency to turn any inability to use sound judgment in controlling one's behavior into a disease. While I have the utmost compassion for those who truly struggle with addiction sometimes I think we get a little confused as to what that term really means.
This post has been awarded 24 stars by 6 readers.

Hi, my name is Lisa, and I have an addiction. They say admitting it is the first step to recovery, so here I am.

I've been struggling with it for a long time. It started when I was very young, maybe eight or nine. Well, maybe it started before then. I have a hard time remembering exactly when it started, but I know that it was around then that I started making choices that would lead to the devastating outcome I'm living with today. Looking back, the signs were definitely evident, even at that age. I don't know if no one saw them at the time, or perhaps people just chose to look the other way. I know at times it was even encouraged. Perhaps people just didn't understand the seriousness of it, but it was pushed as something to do when boredom set in, a way to expand your mind, see the world in a different light. I bought into all the lines. All my friends were into it, too. We used to compare our experiences and give each other recommendations -- good, cheap suppliers, highest-quality goods with the best results, what we enjoyed most -- stuff like that.

It was only a matter of time before my habit started costing me. Free suppliers are hard to come by, and their supplies are limited. Not to mention that I had to keep switching up to get a good fix. Using the same thing over and over just didn't do it after awhile. Of course the really good stuff lasted longer and kept having the same effects even after several times, but I knew that even that would wear off if I wasn't careful. So I had to find new sources and new goods to try. That got expensive. It got so I was spending money I needed for other things. I'd find something I'd heard was good and I had to have it. It happened over and over. Sometimes when I was really bad off and needing a fix, I'd try anything.

It started taking over things other than my free time. Work and school weren't as important as they used to be. I was spending more and more time on my habit when I should have been working. I ignored my friends unless they were using with me. I stopped taking phone calls because I was busy getting a fix. I couldn't get a decent night's sleep. Eventually it just got to be too much. I knew I had to get help or it would take over my life completely. That's what brought me here. I need help. I'm addicted to books.

Copyright 2008 Sylvan Sylph. All rights reserved. has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.

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This post has been awarded 24 stars by 6 readers.
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Jun 23, 2008
Ha! I sure can relate to that! :)
   ~Posted by Douglas, Jun 23, 2008

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