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Popularity: It says she, but it's really me.
Posted by Jessablue, Feb 15, 2009. 875 views. ID = 2347


Posted by Jessablue, Feb 15, 2009. 875 views. ID = 2347
This post was written in 25 minutes.
This post has been awarded 5 stars by 1 reader.

Freshman year, a year full of new beginnings, new friends and a fresh start at a new life, right? Not quite. For one girl, freshman year was full of terrible miscalculations and awful decisions. All through middle school, she felt like a complete outsider, an alien to all that was the great James Hamilton Middle School. I won’t even begin to tell you how many times she hid in a bathroom stall because she was afraid of sitting alone in the cafeteria, or how many times she had to buy a new lock for her locker. Her locks seemed to mysteriously disappear throughout the school year, magically reappearing inside her desk in homeroom at the end of the school year. Painful and humiliating memories from middle school ultimately gave way in to a terrible desire to be popular in high school. She wanted so much to leave those stark days of rejection in the past.

Throughout ninth grade, she honestly trusted that by sticking with the “cool” crowd, she'd find a place for herself. Racing past the “nerds”, “geeks” and “dorks”, she finally did manage to take a bite out of popularity. As the year went on, her life became a pattern of failing report cards, loser boyfriends, rebellious attitudes and cheap friends who continuously backed out on her. Life became really old, really fast. She gradually and progressively began to realize that these “cool” kids, were just as insecure and unsure of themselves as she had been all along. Even though those middle school days seemed horrible at the time, this girl began to see that through her pain, she was given a strong foundation to begin thinking for herself. She started to form her own ideas, sprouting buzzing seeds of self-confidence.

Sophomore year came and went, and still she found herself somewhat trailing the crowd, yet she knew something inside of herself had changed. She was beginning to feel that she didn’t need to have friends in every class, that it wasn't necessary to always have a partner gym class, and that she didn't need to have a panic attack every time a teacher suggested the class split up in groups.

Summer came along, and she finally grasped the difference between fabrication and reality. She took a long, deep look at the kids she'd initially labeled as nerds, geeks, dorks and losers. The truth hit her like whack in the head. Those kids might have been nerdy, maybe a tad dorky, but they sure as anything weren’t losers. She realized that here was an entire assemblage of happy students, completely unlike the party she'd been palling around with. They weren’t fake, they weren’t mean and they weren’t trying to impress anybody else. Those kids were real. They had fun even when they weren’t invited to awesome parties at pretty Susie Smith’s pool. They didn't have to get drunk at Joe Schmoe's house in order to have a great time . Those geeks had fun doing what liked to do, not what Susie and Joe thought was cool. Those geeks influenced her to discover an entirely new world, where friendship and the inner self shine always and forever.

Copyright 2009 Jessablue. All rights reserved. has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.

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This post has been awarded 5 stars by 1 reader.


Feb 16, 2009
I am a Geek, and a computer technicain.
   ~Posted by Mathax, Feb 16, 2009

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