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The Barbaric Horde: Introduction to an epic poem about a battle for an ancient city
Posted by King Arthur, Mar 31, 2008. 2214 views. ID = 979

The Barbaric Horde

Posted by King Arthur, Mar 31, 2008. 2214 views. ID = 979
This post was written in 5 minutes.
This is just the beginning
This post has been awarded 49 stars by 12 readers.
This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled The Barbarian Horde.

Behold the massed barbaric horde
Ten thousand strong and filled with hate,
With rhythmic fists on hardened shields
Beyond the city's guarded gate.
See muscled thighs and shoulders broad,
And brutal arms that tear apart,
Each dressed in scars of midnight ink -
The marks of heathen battle art.

Advancing now before the throng,
Their battle lord draws every gaze,
With bow held ready at his hip,
And fiery arrows full ablaze.
Loud cries the horde in frantic chant;
"Akrull!" they scream, and scream again -
For thus is named their cruel god,
Their king who rules in death's domain.

And now Akrull lifts high his hand,
His war scarred fist is tightly clasped -
As if his foes lay in his palm,
Already crushed within his grasp.
So silence falls upon the plain,
The beating fists on shields fall still;
Defenders closed behind the wall
Are trapped in terror's icy chill.


When silence now is full complete
And every eye is on the king,
The battle lord, incarnate god,
With rasping voice begins to sing.
His song, in coarse barbaric tongue,
Does echo roughly o'er the plain
And brings to trembling fear the ones
Who hear its cruel and strident din.

At last the final words are sung,
Akrull falls still, with head bowed low,
Then turns to face the city gates,
Lays fiery dart to archer's bow.
Swift speeds the god's first battle stroke;
Trace now it's long majestic arc,
And hear barbaric cries of glee;
For death's first strike has found its mark.

Copyright 2008 King Arthur. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


 
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This post has been awarded 49 stars by 12 readers.
This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled The Barbarian Horde. The next part of this series can be found here: Before That Fateful Arrow Flew.
This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version

Comments


Douglas
Mar 31, 2008
Nicely done, Arthur, and welcome to the site!

I did notice one line that has an extra accent, I think:

And hear barbaric voices raised in glee;

Replacing 'barbaric' with 'the' would be one way of solving the issue.

I'm adding this to the featured gallery.
   ~Posted by Douglas, Mar 31, 2008

Mathax
Mar 31, 2008
I like midevil history, however I can not write it very well. 5 stars. :)
   ~Posted by Mathax, Mar 31, 2008

King Arthur
Mar 31, 2008
Thank you. I like keeping the word barbaric, so I fixed it a different way.
   ~Posted by King Arthur, Mar 31, 2008

Josiah T.
Mar 31, 2008
Nice job!! :-)
   ~Posted by Josiah T., Mar 31, 2008

Mathax
Mar 31, 2008
This sounds like a siege. Have You read Josiah T.'s The Siege of Syrn? It's a 30 part story. Here's a link to the first one The Siege of Syrn: Part I
   ~Posted by Mathax, Mar 31, 2008

Katie
Mar 31, 2008
Great job! :-)
   ~Posted by Katie, Mar 31, 2008

lostcerebellum
Mar 31, 2008
This is really good. Better than those old epic poems I was forced to read in literature class.
   ~Posted by lostcerebellum, Mar 31, 2008

King Arthur
Apr 1, 2008
Thank you! It probably helps that I'm not using archaic language.
   ~Posted by King Arthur, Apr 1, 2008

Mathax
Apr 3, 2008
Probably. :P
   ~Posted by Mathax, Apr 3, 2008



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