Fifteen Minutes Of Fiction Writing Gallery

The Wall - Part I: In a land torn by war, the King is finally coming
Posted by Josiah T., Mar 6, 2008. 1995 views. ID = 802

The Wall - Part I

Posted by Josiah T., Mar 6, 2008. 1995 views. ID = 802
This post was written in 0 minutes.
This is a two part piece. No, it didn't really take that short to write. I wrote it elsewhere and pasted it in here.
This post has been awarded 22 stars by 6 readers.
This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled The Wall.

The land had been ravaged by war for time out of mind. At last, rumors that the King was moving reached the land, and the enemy had fled, but not without destroying almost everything of importance to the people.

There was very little water, almost no food. The people were starving, but they were too suspicious of each other, because years of living in constant fear had turned them against even their own people.

Thus violence frequently erupted in the streets of the remaining cities and towns. The enemy was gone, yes, but if they had taught the people one thing, it was how to suspect and fight.


When word of the violence and turmoil reached the King, who lived far away, He decided to launch a relief effort, in order to help his people. He had supplies loaded on to camels, and he himself went with the caravan to see his subjects.

The journey was long. With the supply caravan it took almost four months for the king to reach the war-torn land. He sent messengers on ahead of him, however, and thought Surely the people will want to see me, they must get ready.

When the news of this reached the people, everyone hastened to try and put his own affairs in order.

One man began building a wall around his house to protect himself from the mobs and violence. One day his neighbor brought the news, "The King is coming!"

The man ignored him. What on earth could the King want with a broken and weary man like me? He wondered.

So he continued building his wall to keep the violence out. Soon, it stood two feet high, almost completely encircling his house and little plot of land.


Then one day, another man came. This man rode up on a horse and shouted "The King is coming!" Then he rode off, leaving the first man to his work.

As he worked, the man thought of how safe he would be behind his new wall. Soon it was over four feet high, and the only way out was through a small opening or where the little stream passed under the base of the wall.

One day, after several weeks, a soldier rode up, his armor jangling. He took a look at the wall and raised his eyebrow, but he remembered the message he had been given, "The King is coming!" he shouted, "He wishes to see his loyal subjects who have long been oppressed!"

The man building the wall looked at the soldier and shouted back, "Leave me alone! I've had enough! I'm tired of living in constant fear! Go away and don't send anyone else!!" As he hurled the last remark the soldier rode off, leaving the man in a cloud of dust.


Copyright 2008 Josiah T.. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


   
You must be logged in to comment on or rate this writing.

Click here to join the Fifteen Minutes Of Fiction Writing Community!

This post has been awarded 22 stars by 6 readers.
This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled The Wall. The next part of this series can be found here: The Wall - Part II.
This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version

Comments


Douglas
Mar 7, 2008
As I read this, I couldn't help but thinking how you've improved in your writing abilities, even in the short time you've been on this site. This is very well done.

A little later on I'm going to drop a comment with a list of grammar issues, and a few stylistic ideas, which, of course, you're free to do with as you like. :)

Well done!
   ~Posted by Douglas, Mar 7, 2008



Search for Great Fiction

Use the google search bar below to find writings exclusively on this site.

Custom Search



News!    Writing Prompt    My Assignment    FAQ    Contact    Privacy Policy    Search     Terms of Use     Login