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The Siege of Syrn: Part IV: Dirk and Arem chase an attacker.
Posted by Josiah T., Nov 26, 2007. 108 views. ID = 346
 
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The Siege of Syrn: Part IV

Posted by Josiah T., Nov 26, 2007. 108 views. ID = 346
This post was written in 38 minutes.
Hm.... Not sure what people will think about this one. I haven't attempted much in the way of writing one-on-one sword fights before...
This post has been awarded 7 stars by 2 readers.
This post is Part 4 of a writing series titled The Siege of Syrn.

Dirk jumped to his feet as best as he could with his armor encumbering him. Arem followed close behind. The attacker reached for an arrow. Dirk and Arem split up and ran around some trees. As the man looked up, the two jumped at him, knocking him to the ground and the bow and arrow from his hand.

The man was up again in a flash, and kicked Dirk in the ribs with his boots. The boots were hard and Dirk felt the wind knocked out of himself. His sword spun from his hand and landed a few feet away out of reach. The attacker drew his sword and lifted it to slice down on Dirk.

Arem jumped up and parried the blow with his own sword. The two began dueling.

Dirk lay on the ground gasping for breath. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the attacker aim a kick at Arem. Arem gave a cry and Dirk heard a crash.

Still gasping, he crawled as fast as he could toward his sword. Then he leapt up and grabbed the attackers back pulling him over as his sword fell toward Arem, who lay on the ground.

The attacker was up again in an instant, and this time Dirk was ready for him. Gripping his sword tightly, he parried a stroke and attacked. His opponent was an excellent swordsman, and even though Arem was at his side in a moment, neither of them was able to lay so much as a scratch on their attackers jerkin.

Suddenly the attacker parried a quick blow from Dirk and slashed at Arem in inhuman speed. Arem gave a sharp cry and dropped his sword. He fell to the ground clutching at his wrist.

Dirk, infuriated by the fall of his friend, attacked harder. Slashing left and right, up and down, he managed to drive his attacker back.

Then Dirk feinted a slash to the low left, and cut back across to the right. The attacker was caught off guard and Dirk scored a hit on his jerkin, drawing blood on his right side. Taking his advantage, Dirk slashed again, this time to the left. His blade struck home, killing the attacker instantly.

He stood panting for a few seconds, and then rushed to Arem's side. There was a long cut on his left wrist, and blood flowed freely from the open wound.

"Come on." He said. "We've got to get back and find everyone else."

"Where are they?" Asked Arem. As if in answer to his question, a horn blew off in the distance calling the troops back to where they had scattered from.

Copyright 2007 Josiah T.. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.

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This post has been awarded 7 stars by 2 readers.
This post is Part 4 of a writing series titled The Siege of Syrn. The next part of this series can be found here: The Siege of Syrn: Part V.
This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version

Comments


Katie
Nov 27, 2007
Hmm. Pretty good for a newbie at one on one sword fights. :-) Other than a few grammatical issues (if you don't mind me mentioning), I enjoyed it.
   ~Posted by Katie, Nov 27, 2007


Douglas
Nov 27, 2007
whenever I get to these kinds of scenes, I usually just scan through it to see who won, who died, who was injured, and then I move on to stuff that interests me.

So I'm not a good one to comment on this. :)
   ~Posted by Douglas, Nov 27, 2007


Douglas
Nov 27, 2007
Okay, one comment....beware of 'suddenly', which you sometimes use redundantly (at least, it seems redundant to me)...

Suddenly the attacker parried a quick blow from Dirk

is there any other way to parry a quick blow?

Suddenly he tripped on a tree root and fell to the ground

is there any other way to trip on a tree root?
   ~Posted by Douglas, Nov 27, 2007


Josiah T.
Nov 27, 2007
Yeah, sure, there's lots of ways to trip over a tree root - I should know! :-P

I'll probably revise this before I do the next version, but I don't really have time right now.
   ~Posted by Josiah T., Nov 27, 2007


Douglas
Nov 27, 2007
ps - regarding my first comment, I wasn't saying it's not good writing - it's just not the kind of scene that interests me.
   ~Posted by Douglas, Nov 27, 2007


Josiah T.
Nov 27, 2007
heh heh heh. That's good to know.

I have done *some* of this sort of writing, mainly in an attempt to write fight scenes better than Paolini. :-P
   ~Posted by Josiah T., Nov 27, 2007




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