Fifteen Minutes Of Fiction Writing Gallery

Heart's Elements: Heart's elements - similes and metaphors of the heart condition.
Posted by Janee, Sep 26, 2007. 1287 views. ID = 48

Heart's Elements

Posted by Janee, Sep 26, 2007. 1287 views. ID = 48
This post was written in 9 minutes.
This post has been awarded 8 stars by 2 readers.

cold and dark as moonless night
lost in black confusion;
untamed furor of winter's storm
tossed by winds of thought;
sparked by hidden lava flows
heat of volcanic rage;
but brightened still by starlight's glow -
the distant light of hope.

Copyright 2007 Janee. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


 
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This post has been awarded 8 stars by 2 readers.

Comments


Michael K
Sep 27, 2007
"sparked by hidden lava flows
heat of volcanic rage;"

I was thinking, lava and volcanic are sort of redundant. maybe you'd keep the interest up a bit by changing the word "lava" so the reader doesn't know what kind of flow it is until they get to volcanic.

   ~Posted by Michael K, Sep 27, 2007

Janee
Sep 27, 2007
hmm...I don't really like that line anyway...maybe I'll rework it.
   ~Posted by Janee, Sep 27, 2007

Michael K
Sep 28, 2007
I agree...honestly, I think that's the weakest line of the poem.
   ~Posted by Michael K, Sep 28, 2007



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