| |
|
 |
Voiceless words
Posted by Laura, Jan 27, 2010. 437 views. ID = 3141
This post was written in 3 minutes.
|
 | This post has been awarded 29 stars by 7 readers. |
The air we share does not demand
Another word be spoken.
Beyond despair, the silence speaks
And voices its heartfelt token.
Devotion is silent, but seen and felt
By two who reciprocate.
The quietest love need not be voiced
When words would only complicate.
Copyright 2010 Laura. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
| This post has been awarded 29 stars by 7 readers. |  | This post is part of a writing prompt: Silence! |  | This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version
|
Comments
Douglas
Jan 27, 2010 | I love the concept of this poem, but I'm going to have to read it again tomorrow when I'm more awake.
~Posted by Douglas, Jan 27, 2010 |
Douglas
Jan 28, 2010 | heh...last night when I read this, I thought "I think she left out the word 'be' in the second to last line. I see you've fixed that now. :)
The only other thing that jumped out at me was, the spoken/token rhyme felt a little forced to me.
This poem reminds me of the book of Job, and Job's three friends who came and sat with him for seven days...and said nothing.
Sometimes love is silent, and sometimes silence is more peaceful and tranquil than any words.
~Posted by Douglas, Jan 28, 2010 |
Laura
Jan 28, 2010 | Haha, yes, apparently I was not the only one who wasn't very awake last night ;-)
Yeah, I like that part of Job... and I think perhaps he would have benefited more if they had continued in that fashion. Sometimes it's hard to feel like you're 'contributing' to helping someone when you aren't saying anything, but silence can be a gift during certain times, I think.
I'll have to see what I can do about that rhyme... I seem to remember college writing professors warning about the passive voice, but I don't remember exactly why... I guess this explains it.
~Posted by Laura, Jan 28, 2010 |
|
|
|
|
