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A New Olympic Event!: Oh yeah... I'd watch this.
Posted by Laura, Mar 4, 2010. 3761 views. ID = 3267

A New Olympic Event!

Posted by Laura, Mar 4, 2010. 3761 views. ID = 3267
This post was written in 37 minutes.
Finally, an event that women will always beat men at ;-)
This post has been awarded 23 stars by 5 readers.

"Here we are, Al. This is the final event. We've already seen these dedicated women compete in the house-vacuum-dash, the pot-scrub-slalom, and the laundry-load-relay. Now it's time for the event we've all been waiting for, which will cap off this domestic quadrathlon - the grocery-store-dash!"

"I'm excited, Boomer. This event is often the toughest, and right now it's any woman's game. Our first contestant stepping up to the automatic doors is Beverly Malcolm, mother of four, and reigning US champion. She's done well here this Olympics, although her scores for vacuum dash were less than stellar. She did well on time, but just didn't quite meet her expectations on the judging portion."

"All right, here she is. And, there's the air horn, off she goes! She did well earlier during a practice run, but this is still an unfamiliar course for her. The produce section in her home course is located on the opposite side, but that shouldn't throw her off too much."

"Boomer, she has worked so hard getting back into shape this past year, cutting her average aisle time down to 7.5 seconds."

"There she goes, Al! Through the produce section already, almost 1.2 seconds ahead of the lead time, put down by Xiang Xi of China, the reigning world champion. That corner was a little sloppy there. This is a new cart that she's been training with only a few weeks, so it will remain to be seen whether this fact will be a hindrance or not on this medal run."

"Well, after two aisles, she's fallen somewhat behind the time, Boomer, but we're coming up on frozen foods, and that has always been one of her strengths in this competition. Oh! Look at that corner! That was a costly mistake, she's going to have to make that up with this run."

"Well, her item selection skills have definitely improved over the past year - you'll notice the nice collection in the cart, and, oh! There we go, had to reach way up high for that package of spinach, that might cost her as well!"

"Here she is, coming around the final turn, all that's left is bakery. The bread aisle is one of the fastest for competitors across the board."

"And there she is across that finish line, wow, utterly exhausted! And she's in the lead! That, combined with her other event scores puts her into silver medal position at this point. Great effort from the woman who many had said was ready to retire to home-makership at the end of last year."

Copyright 2010 Laura. All rights reserved. has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.

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This post has been awarded 23 stars by 5 readers.
This post is part of a writing prompt: A New Olympic Event!


Mar 27, 2010
I really liked this post because it was really funny.
keep up the good work.
   ~Posted by erika, Mar 27, 2010

Jun 29, 2010
Lol great! But my dad does the groceries... :)
   ~Posted by JasonT.Johnson, Jun 29, 2010

Ari James
Jun 29, 2010
So funny and so true.
   ~Posted by Ari James, Jun 29, 2010

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