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Sidewalks and Hallways: Another free-verse attempt
Posted by Laura, Sep 30, 2007. 2425 views. ID = 68

Sidewalks and Hallways

Posted by Laura, Sep 30, 2007. 2425 views. ID = 68
This post was written in 9 minutes.
This post has been awarded 23 stars by 6 readers.

I’m sure you must be speaking,
But there’s static in your voice
And on your face.

Perhaps I’ve seen you on the street,
Passing by with matching stride,
And only glanced into your face
For just a moment as our feet
Carried each to other worlds
Of mentality and space.

Perhaps you’ve lingered on the edge
Of a gathering of friends,
In those obligated circles
Of acquaintance; concentrating
On a shoe, or staring spaced-out
At a painting on the wall,
As I also tend to do.


I’m sorry if I failed you –
Are you always in the hall,
On the stairs, in the street,
Passing by, never stopping,
Never looking me in the eye?

I would not walk away
If the static faded out,
And I heard your voice
And found I understood.



Copyright 2007 Laura. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


   
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Comments


Douglas
Sep 30, 2007
Is this for a class? Or just for fun?

I like it...made me think of a couple teens in my youth group who are always on the outer ring.

I kind of lost the thread of it here...

"Or in the gathering of friends..."

It was a momentary loss...then I realized the "Or" was referring back to:

"Passing by with matching stride,"

It's just that with a whole stanza having gone by it wasn't immediately apparent to me what that "or" was associated with.
   ~Posted by Douglas, Sep 30, 2007

Laura
Sep 30, 2007
Thanks for the feedback :-) I was afraid that that one stanza was a little too long, so I guess I'll see what my poetry workshop class has to say about it - hopefully it'll get workshopped this Wednesday. So far both of the ones I've posted have been for class - I've been trying to experiment more with non-rhyming poetry.
   ~Posted by Laura, Sep 30, 2007



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