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Next of Kin Scam Response: A lawyer contacted me about claiming money that belonged to a deceased billionaire with the same last name as me.
Posted by Douglas, Jan 20, 2008. 6261 views. ID = 516

Next of Kin Scam Response

Posted by Douglas, Jan 20, 2008. 6261 views. ID = 516
This post was written in 11 minutes.
If you don't know what the "Next Of Kin" scam is, it's when a scammer sends you a letter saying that some rich guy is dead, and no one has stepped forward as next of kin to claim his money. So if you are willing to "pretend" to be his next of kin, you can get a truckload of money.

Of course, the whole thing is a scam, there really isn't a millionaire who just died without next of kin, and if you decide to play along with it, you're the one who will end up losing money.

So, this is my imaginary response to a "lawyer" who sent me a N.O.K scam.
This post has been awarded 26 stars by 6 readers.

Dear Mr. Sir. Esq. Barrister William K. T. Googenheimer III,

Wow, that's a lot of names and titles you've got there! I hope you don't mind, next time I write, I'm just going to call you Googy. It's a lot easier.

Anyway, I was so pleased to receive your email. I've never gotten a letter from a real live lawyer before (well, except for that time I drove my cousin's truck up the steps of the town office and through the receptionist's desk.)

I read about that airplane crash you mentioned. The one where all those people died off the coast of Japan. But I never knew there was someone named Twitchell on that plane. And I never knew either that there was a MILLIONAIRE named Twitchell. That's pretty cool because, like you said, that's my last name too.

Anyway, I was sorry to hear that he had no next of kin to give all his money to, and it was kind of you to offer me the chance to pretend to be his next of kin and take all that money (except for your cut, of course!). I almost was going to take you up on the offer, except I talked to my friend Bill Watson first.

(I know, you said, don't talk to anyone else about this opportunity, but it's not like Bill is going to tell anyone!)

Turns out, he got a letter from you too, because there was a millionaire named Watson on that same plane! And that's not all. My cousin Suzie Quentin got a letter too, because (you guessed it), there was a millionaire named Quentin on that plane.

And I got to thinking, with at least three millionaires on that plane, that's gotta be some kind of millionaire jinx. But as soon as I thought about jinxes, I suddenly realized the truth...

Those millionaires aren't dead. They're all marooned on a pacific island along with Hurley and the rest of the survivors of Oceanic 815. And just in case JJ Abrams and the rest of the producers decide to rescue them...

I don't want to be the one caught holding all their money when they return.

So, thanks but no thanks, Googy!


Copyright 2008 Douglas. All rights reserved. has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.

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This post has been awarded 26 stars by 6 readers.
This post is part of a writing prompt: Letter To A Spammer


Josiah T.
Jan 21, 2008
Haha! Maybe you ought to keep better track of your distant relatives to make sure that there AREN'T any millionaires out there somewhere. :-P
   ~Posted by Josiah T., Jan 21, 2008

Jan 21, 2008
What is Oceanic 815?
   ~Posted by Mathax, Jan 21, 2008

Jan 21, 2008
That's a reference to the TV show "LOST".
   ~Posted by Douglas, Jan 21, 2008

Feb 13, 2008
Haha. I love it. Very witty. =]
   ~Posted by Claire, Feb 13, 2008

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