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The Mountain Peak
Posted by Angela, Oct 8, 2007. 221 views. ID = 132
This post was written in 15 minutes.
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 | Author wrote this one to be different from what she thought would be the common writing idea that everyone else has. Plus, she had a bad weekend so thinking doesn't work for her today so she skimped on some of the details and imagery. Sorry guys, she knows how you guys just love imagery. =( |  | This post has been awarded 14 stars by 5 readers. |
The air was still and silent; yet, it was surprisingly cool outside. The sky was relatively dark now, as if the light was obscurred, if only partially, by a giant curtain. At the top of a gargantuan mountain we were precariously placed. On the peak of this landscape my comrades and I stood. Light shone in from between the neighboring mountains and casted a forboding shadow on the camp my companions were setting up.
We looked down the long and labourous climb we made and saw nothing but a blanket of white. That was all. No mooses, birds, or any mythical beasts. No stacks of smoke billowing from houses or other camps. No, this mountain was empty today. Empty of life except for us. Off into the distance, there was another chain of mountains (also white today) that we eventually may brave one day. Beyond them, a pale river slowly flowed down the base of the mountain to form a relatively large lake of lucious baby blue.
As my friends and I continued to set up the camp, we suddenly felt a vibration beneath our boots. "Avalance!" thought one of the newer adventurers. Yet, the other veterans and I knew better. A loud sound emitted from somewhere far off.
"Billy! Put those toys away! It's time for your nap!"
"'kay Mommy!"
And thus, as we were removed by an outside force and placed back in the toy chest. The white blanket we clambered on slowly started to lose altitude and flattened until it was no more.
Copyright 2007 Angela. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
Comments
Douglas
Oct 9, 2007 | Okay, I get the twist...sort of. The climbers are children at play. But I wasn't sure what the mountains were. Their imagination? A pile of toys? Snow banks? I wasn't sure about that.
Oh, and here's a word choice question...did you mean 'gregarious'? Because gregarious means 'enjoying companionship'.
~Posted by Douglas, Oct 9, 2007 |
Angela
Oct 9, 2007 | The mountains were blankets and the climbers were toys... I don't think I did that right...
And... I think I was thinking gargantuan... not gregarious... >.<
~Posted by Angela, Oct 9, 2007 |
Douglas
Oct 9, 2007 | Ah! I get it! That's even more clever. :) I think your last paragraph still needs a little tweaking, but it's clear now what I was missing.
~Posted by Douglas, Oct 9, 2007 |
Josiah T.
Oct 10, 2007 | I've heard it said that since the plural of "goose" is "geese," the plural of "moose" ought to be "meese." ;-)
~Posted by Josiah T., Oct 10, 2007 |
Angela
Oct 11, 2007 | xD My friends and I had a thorough discussion regarding the whole plural of moose thing.
It was finally either meese, mooses, or moosen. =3
~Posted by Angela, Oct 11, 2007 | 
death_shadow
Oct 11, 2007 | i really liked that one.
~Posted by death_shadow, Oct 11, 2007 |
Josiah T.
Oct 13, 2007 | Well, I think that "meese" sounds better then "mooses," and "moosen" is just plain weird (in my opinion :-P )
~Posted by Josiah T., Oct 13, 2007 |
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