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Nobody
Posted by Angela, Oct 4, 2007. 198 views. ID = 93
This post was written in 6 minutes.
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 | ^^ Author hopes you guys enjoy this poem... she's afraid to say that it's a got a twist because then it would make the poem predictable... |  | This post has been awarded 10 stars by 4 readers. |
Nobody really knew me,
Nobody had cared.
Nobody was there for me,
When I was hurt or scared.
Nobody would play games with me,
Like tag or hide and seek.
Nobody would listen to me
When I wanted to speak.
Nobody was there for me
When I was really sad.
Nobody would calm me down
When I was really mad.
Nobody shared cookies with me
Or candy or toys or books.
Nobody made me feel better
When people gave weird looks.
Nobody laughed with me
When I had jokes to make.
Nobody had rescued me
When I almost drowned in the lake.
Nobody was my best friend
And I'm still sad to this day.
I always wonder to myself
Why did he have to go away?
Copyright 2007 Angela. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
| This post has been awarded 10 stars by 4 readers. |  | This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version
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Comments
Douglas
Oct 4, 2007 | Ahh...I see! :D It took me a minute to figure out that "Nobody" was the person who died. I wonder if that was just because I wasn't awake yet...or if it needs to be made more obvious.
Just a quick note on your ending stanza:
"Nobody was my best friend
And to this day I'm still cry."
I think maybe you meant "to this day I stil cry", or something like that. That might have been what kept me from figuring it out.
~Posted by Douglas, Oct 4, 2007 | 
Lynnde
Oct 4, 2007 | I like the poem and the twist makes it fun. However, if you want people to get the full effect of the twist, and not be distracted by grammar problems, you need to fix the "I'm still cry."
Good job on this. I like the ones with unexpected endings.
~Posted by Lynnde, Oct 4, 2007 |
Angela
Oct 5, 2007 | XD Sorry guys. I wrote this around 7 in the morning. I'll try to watch my grammar =D Glad you guys liked it.
~Posted by Angela, Oct 5, 2007 | 
death_shadow
Oct 11, 2007 | lots of twists i like it.
~Posted by death_shadow, Oct 11, 2007 |
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