Fifteen Minutes Of Fiction Writing Gallery

Sharing....: this is something based on intimacy
Posted by Chilly, Feb 27, 2009. 3478 views. ID = 2395

Sharing....

Posted by Chilly, Feb 27, 2009. 3478 views. ID = 2395
This post was written in 2 minutes.
For N... she inspires me
This post has been awarded 39 stars by 10 readers.

Sharing one umbrella
We have to hold each other
'Round the waist to keep together

You ask me why I'm smiling
It's because I'm thinking.......

I want it to rain forever

Copyright 2009 Chilly. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


 
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This post has been awarded 39 stars by 10 readers.
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Comments


Douglas
Feb 28, 2009
Nice poem! And welcome to the site. :)

I don't know if you intended it, but you have a fairly solid iambic meter (every other syllable stressed) until you get to the very last line.

If you wanted to make the last line iambic as well, it would be a fairly easy fix - something like "I want the rain to last forever" would do the job.

I'm adding this poem to the featured gallery.
   ~Posted by Douglas, Feb 28, 2009

Laura
Feb 28, 2009
I love this! So simple, yet it says a lot.
   ~Posted by Laura, Feb 28, 2009

MrPhysics
Mar 2, 2009
I love the thought!
   ~Posted by MrPhysics, Mar 2, 2009

erika
Sep 24, 2009
really good . It really made me feel that I was there.
   ~Posted by erika, Sep 24, 2009

Audrey_E_Marquis
Nov 2, 2009
I love this. Not only does it make me feel like I'm on the street with them, witnessing the moment, it makes me wish I were one of them. Very simple, but exactly how it should be. :)
   ~Posted by Audrey_E_Marquis, Nov 2, 2009



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