Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

Talking Pets

"Good morning, sleepy head!" "I was wondering when you'd get up, I can't wait forever for breakfast you know, those birds are not going to chase themselves!"

"What?" "Ginger, was that you?" "It can't be!" "My God, I must be dreaming!"

"Well of course it's me, who else do you think lives in this house?" "Now when am I getting breakfast?"

"But... but..., you're speaking English!" "Cats can't speak English!"

"Oh, so you've only just noticed then, have you?" "That explains a lot!" "I always thought you never understood me, I should've guessed my English was too complicated for you!"

"Wait, you mean to say you've been speaking English all this time and I never understood you?"

"Yes, that would be the logical conclusion. Now would you please stop looking so shocked and get me something to eat?"

"Er...yes, yes of course Ginger, sorry."

"Well go on then, I'll follow you to the kitchen."

"Gosh, I might've known!"

"Might have known what?"

"That something like this would happen. Only last night I was wishing and wishing that I could understand you, that your constant meowing would make some sense, and now it looks like it's come true. And now that it has, I'm not sure what to think."

"Well, you've never been sure of that ever, to be honest!"

"Now, now, Ginger, there's no need to be so catty!"

"I'm a cat, what did you expect?"

"Oh. Well, you've got a point there, I suppose."

"I always have." And I'm still waiting, by the way."

"Oh, sorry, again, Ginger. Here you are.

"Finally!"

"Wait, Ginger, not so fast!"

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't say 'thank you'."

"Thank you?"

"Yes, that's right, Ginger." And that I know you can talk, things are going to be a bit different around here. "It's been me who's always been doing things for you, cooking your breakfast, cleaning up after you, buying you toys, always making sure you're comfortable. Well, now you can do a few things for me in return!"

"What? Me, do things for a mere human! Have you been taking catnip?"

"No I have not! This is the way things should have been in the first place!" "Now, you're going to ring up my boss and tell him I'm not coming in today. And there you're going to order me a nice breakfast while I sit here and watch a movie. And after that, you're going to..."

"No, I won't stand for it! I won't! I'll report you to the police for animal cruelty!

"Oh, of course, because they have cats calling them up everyday, reporting all kinds of things! "As if anyone will believe that you're a talking cat!" "And in any case, this is far from cruelty."

"You're right about that!" "It goes against my feline dignity!"

"Well, all right, Ginger, if you're going to be like about it. I'll get you that expensive robotic mouse toy you wouldn't stop meowing at when we were shopping last week. And I'll give you extra helpings of salmon for dinner."

"With extra toppings too?"

"Yes, if you like."

"Well..."

"So it's a deal then? Come on Ginger, stop pussyfooting about it, and say you agree!"

"Yes, yes, alright, I'll do it!" "But only because you bribed me." I'll admit that humans are smarter than I thought."

"Why, thank you Ginger! "That's quite a compliment."

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