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Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction


The following is a piece of writing submitted by Douglas on December 3, 2013

Bah! Humbug!

The song I would classify as my least favorite Christmas song, I have a hard time even calling a Christmas song, because there's nothing Christmasy about it. Yes, the events of the song happened on December 24th, but really there's nothing about it that requires it to be on Christmas Eve - it could just as easily have happened on Valentine's Day or St. Patrick's Day.

The song is "His Favorite Christmas Story," by "Capital Lights." It is the story of a man who asked a girl to dance at a party, but never got her contact information, and so spent the rest of his life lonely and remembering what could-have-been.

At the end of his life he is on his death bed, and asks his nurse to tell her favorite Christmas story, and she tells the story of how she met a man who asked her to dance, but she never got his name...

Blah blah blah.

I'm not a scrooge or a humbug, but the ending of the song is so predictable, so obnoxious, so schmaltzy, so improbably silly that my stomach turned every time it came on the radio.

In fact, the year it was popular I took a sledgehammer to every radio within earshot, and thus made my holiday season bright.

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