Happy Valentines Day?
Posted by Sylavash, Feb 14, 2008. 2726 views. ID = 597
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|I love chocolate and love and romance, yet this year I am not celebrating it with anyone I love. I broke up with my boyfriend last year, and I still wish that I didn't have to, but I saw nothing better to do. I can't think about love and happiness on valentines day, if I do not remove the sadness from my heart, please let me leave it here. |
|This post has been awarded 32 stars by 8 readers.|
She took one last look around the hotel room as he picked up his bag. Only her overnight bag and coat were left on the chair. Carefully she checked her pockets feeling her hotel card in it; she closed the door behind her as he took his stuff out.
This was not the first time he had left her, but in the air, she knew it would be the last. She had come to realize that he did not care about her anymore in the last few months, and he had not even realized that she had counted days between the times when they had spoken, while a year ago it would barely be hours. He did not care any more, she thought. Then she paused. He did care, she corrected herself. He cared that there was a girl waiting for him somewhere. He cared that a girl loved him and wanted to be with him. He cared that he did not ever have to be alone. He just did not care if she was that girl.
She walked him down to his car. His flashy little yellow sports car, He was so proud of it when he bought it, yet it took him a week to tell her he did, by then she already knew, he just didn’t tell her. They were college sweet hearts. Born two many years apart. She fell in love with him the year before he graduated, and mended his wounded heart back to one piece so he could love her too. When he graduated he loved her too, and they dated exclusively from then on. She would talk to him between classes, and late at night until the caffeine wore off and her head could not resist the pillow.
When the snow melted in the spring before she graduated many trials began to befall their love, and distance began to wear on them. She stood by him whenever he needed her, yet she started to fear his mocking laughter when she fell and needed help. She graduated that spring, and picked up a summer job near him to make ends meet. Even though their distance was not that far, it grew with each passing day and she found herself feeling more alone. She did not fear being alone, she just did not want it to end. She reached out to him, but could not feel him reaching back. She dressed up for him, but did not see his eyes glow. She drove to see him, and he did not come to greet her. The day she cried and was more afraid to reach out to him then to be alone she knew they were through. On that day, she stopped trying to pull him closer to her.
As she heard the hotel door click behind her she knew she should say something, but she did not know what. He would not say it she knew, she did not think he even knew. He didn’t, did he? He turned to her, and she reached up to give him a hug. He did not kiss; she could count his kisses on one hand. She backed away letting him get in his car. He hesitated. He did not want to leave her here, it was too far from him, but this was her choice. He looked out the windshield at her, and she waved at him. He slowly backed up and turned the car around in the parking lot, then stopped and stared at where she stood. This was the moment, she knew. She took one last moment and waved at him, then turned and walked back to her hotel room and locked the door.
She looked around the hotel room again. It was just as empty as when he was here. Although, she thought, the loneliness was more welcoming, then his embrace. Copyright 2008 Sylavash. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
|This post has been awarded 32 stars by 8 readers.|
|This post is part of a writing prompt: Happy Valentines Day?|
|This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version
I think this is the most beautifully written piece I've seen from you yet. It creates a terribly sad and lonely mood.
There are a couple places where she thinks something, and there's missing punctuation:He did care she corrected herself.
should be:He did care, she corrected herself.
or...He did care, she corrected herself.
By the way, there was a glitch in the storing of this piece - the database said it took you 108 years to write it. It created an error in the site, so I tweaked the database. ~Posted by Douglas, Feb 15, 2008
108 years? wow, I feel old.
Thank you for your kind words.
This was just a free write I did when I thought about valentines day, I didn't edit it at all before I posted. I am surprised it ran so smoothly with the lack of any names I think it is almost better that way. ~Posted by Sylavash, Feb 15, 2008
Wow. A very emotional piece. Very well done! ~Posted by Katie, Feb 15, 2008
*agrees with above comment* ~Posted by Josiah T., Feb 16, 2008
*shocked* ~Posted by Mathax, Feb 21, 2008
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