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Writing > Users > Spader > 2011

Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction


The following is a piece of writing submitted by Spader on May 4, 2011
"Hopefully I can look back at this when I undoubtedly lose sight of God. "

Birthday Prayer

It's that time of year again. When my Facebook wall is flooded with friends; new and old, related and strange. Faces that grew up with me, faces that I've looked to for guidance, for assistance, for love, for mercy. Faces that I've never even looked upon. It's amazing how people can be so nice on the internet and just ignore someone in reality. It's amazing how I can criticize this as if I'm any better. It's amazing how I can live every second of my life thinking only about my own needs and my own desires. When there's so much more out there. It's amazing how I can call myself Christian and not feel a tugging at my heart, an internal battle cry, rallying me to go out and preach the Word, giving me the strength to save my unbelieving friends and family. It's amazing how I always try to connect everything in my life back to spiritual things. It's amazing how lots of people don't. And it's amazing how He loves us anyway. It's amazing how so many people care about this arbitrary day that they label as 'birthday.' It's amazing that God has given me the greatest gift. The ability to worship and praise Him freely; this with a bright golden beam of sunlight descending from the heavens, striking the window and landing on my unworthy voice and guitar. It's amazing how I missed several calls from my Mom and called her back hours later, expecting her to be angry; preparing to defend myself. And hearing her joyful "Happy Birthday!" instead of a yell or a chide. It's amazing how this is how God loves us. That we are all prodigal sons, that we are all fallen, that we can all stand back up, that despite this––we all stand tallest when we are on our knees before Him. Humble me, oh God, and hear my prayer. Enter my heart from day to day. My heart burns naught for ways of right, but my mind turns quickly to things of night. I search for you, in times of pain. Lord give me joy, in my sin slain. I pray that I could truly see, what your death has meant for me. That every step and breath I take; I would do it Lord, for just your sake. I'm so unworthy of all your grace. Unburden me, Father, to see your face.

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