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Christmas Gone Wrong: A short tale about a boy and a monster
Posted by EHaze, Nov 27, 2007. 3213 views. ID = 351

Christmas Gone Wrong

Posted by EHaze, Nov 27, 2007. 3213 views. ID = 351
This post was written in 15 minutes.
For this story I thought of the first thing that came to mind on the idea of a Christmas evening gone wrong and started to write. I ran short on time at the end but it is at least a semi-complete story. This is also my first entry to FMoF.
This post has been awarded 7 stars by 3 readers.
This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled Christmas Gone Wrong.

Timmy, age 10, was anxiously awaiting Santa's arrival and the unveiling of countless Christmas goodies from Santa's sack. Timmy gently arranged cookies on a plate and placed it near a tall glass of frosty milk on an antique table near the fireplace. The light of a worn oil lamp cast a serene glow on Timmy's living room and he smiled wide as the moment swept over him.

The euphoric silence was severed as a metal clanking began on the roof above Timmy. Growing louder and meticulously repetitive, the clanging came to a stop above the chimney. Timmy's eyes bloomed open as he saw a metallic leg descend from the deep darkness of the long-extinguished fireplace.


Another leg came down and hovering beside it was a strange device that reminded Timmy of a fantasy toy gun that he once had. He marvelled at the eerie blue glow that pulsated along the weapon's surface as the mysterious figure continued folding into the living room. With whistling and whirring, a devious figure, ducked out into the light and stood to a full height towering over Timmy.

"This was not Santa Claus" Timmy concluded. This figure resembled a man... loosely. A man that had suffered disfigurement and had his skin painted a sickly lavender. A man strapped into a robotic contraption that resembled a body and covered in moving parts, cylinders, tanks of putrid green fluid, and glowing panels with dancing lights. The creature stepped towards Timmy drawing the gleaming gun from its leg and taking aim at Timmy.

"M e r r y C h r i s t m a s T i m m y" The creature blurted out in a monotonous voice from some area far from its mouth.

Timmy, being the bright lad that he was dove into the fireplace to avoid a bright, blue blast from the thing's gun. The creature turned quickly firing again and again as Timmy struggled to dodge the shots. His chest was caving in from exertion; Timmy had never moved so fast before. The living room lay in shambles before Timmy finally made it outside the front door to sprint away. He dared not return to warn his parents or see if they were ok.

He ran as fast as he could to his friend Ronald's house across the street, banging on the door until Ronald's mother, Anna, answered wrapping herself in a night gown.

"What is it Timmy? It's late!" Anna asked with a scratchy voice, rubbing her eyes.

"A monster's in my house! He's dressed like San'a!" Timmy shouted.

"That's absurd Timmy! Your house is..." Anna began to say before a crash sounded from Timmy's house and the creature burst into the night with a blast from its rocket pack. It flew up into the air and towards Ronald's house as Timmy's roof collapsed with a giant thud.

Anna gasped before fainting back into her house.

Timmy ran inside to wake Ronald from his room when he heard a crash from the other side of the door. Timmy burst in to gaze upon the creature grasping Ronald with a giant, mechanical hand; only briefly before jumping through the gaping hole in the roof and disappearing into the night. Timmy sat down and sobbed when Ronald's father, John, burst into the room with a rifle

"What happened? What's going on?" He asked wildly, aiming his gun around.

Timmy only pointed up; John's eyes following to reveal the explanation he desperately sought. John kneeled down to scoop up Timmy then he bolted into the entry way to briefly inspect his fainted wife. She was alive but unconcious. John, rushed into the street to see the creature in Timmy's front yard throwing Ronald's dangling form into a small cylindrical craft with hundreds more dancing lights and odd looking devices. John figured he only had one chance and with great care he aimed his gun at the creature and took a shot.

The creature continued on its task for only a moment before collapsing. It was over. Timmy continued to sob and John held him trying to offer some consolement. John carried Timmy to his house to find Timmy's parents crawling out of the rubble near the rear of the house. Timmy let out a sigh of relief and ran to his parents who snatched him up with affectionate hugs.

Ronald stood up and gripped his head stumbling towards his father. John ran to aid him and noticed Ronald had been struck in the head by a small piece of wood from Ronald's house. It didn't look serious but John didn't have to decide what to do as a few police and an ambulance showed up to greet them.

"Everything ok here sir?" One of the officers asked.

"It is now" John replied.

Copyright 2007 EHaze. All rights reserved. has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.

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This post has been awarded 7 stars by 3 readers.
This post is Part 1 of a writing series titled Christmas Gone Wrong. The next part of this series can be found here: Christmas Gone Wrong II.
This post is part of a writing prompt: Christmas Story
This is a revised version of a post. Click here to view the original version


Nov 28, 2007
Welcome to the site, EHaze! You did a real nice switch in tempo from the calm,serene scene to the frantic pace when "Santa" arrives.

Just so you know, you don't need to worry about the timer - that's really just for fun - a lot of the writers take much longer. Here's one that someone took an hour writing: The Fable of the Lovely, Lonely Rose

Look forward to hearing more creative ideas from you!

   ~Posted by Douglas, Nov 28, 2007

Nov 28, 2007
It was actually quite a rush to place writing under such a strict time limit. It forced me to leave out editing and just spew content. Very entertaining.
   ~Posted by EHaze, Nov 28, 2007

Nov 29, 2007
so, do we ever get to find out what the creature was?
   ~Posted by Milton, Nov 29, 2007

Nov 30, 2007
I suppose I could do another 15 minutes and give a "pre-story." Lemme see what I can do.
   ~Posted by EHaze, Nov 30, 2007

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