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Jury Duty: Insired by the Jury Duty notice I just got......again!
Posted by Niconic, Mar 16, 2009. 1073 views. ID = 2463

Jury Duty

Posted by Niconic, Mar 16, 2009. 1073 views. ID = 2463
This post was written in 5 minutes.
Ok, not sure on the meter..... any advice is very welcome.
This post has been awarded 24 stars by 6 readers.

Oh, tell me now please, how did they find me here?
I keep my ducks in a row; mind my own rear
Yet still here I stand, put off, irritated
Slip in hand; I am called forth
I’ve been instigated!

Who’s running this lottery?
Quit pulling my name please
A team player, I am and all for camaraderie
So why does it feel like they’re picking on me?

Once, twice, three times now, my name has been called
But you? Not one time…..and I am appalled!
My civic duty…..yeah, I understand
But around this appointment, now I must plan
In an overstuffed room, with a slew of my peers
Sequestered with this group??
An irrational fear….

So away I go
A payer of tax! A registered voter!
An American proud! A legal system promoter!

I know it won’t kill me; it’s really not dreadful
Despite crowded rooms and a wait that is so dull
I like helping those who help keep the peace…..
And Yeah! The best part…I’ll get out of work at least!


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This post has been awarded 24 stars by 6 readers.
This post is part of a writing prompt: Iambic Pentameter

Comments


Douglas
Mar 17, 2009
You asked for advice, so here goes...

Your meter is close to iambic pentameter, but not quite. Here are your first two lines, with the accented syllables in capital letters:

Oh, TELL me NOW please, how DID they FIND me HERE?
I KEEP my DUCKS in a ROW; MIND my own REAR

As you can see, they each have 5 accented syllables, so that fits the "pentameter" part. But there are a few places where there are two unaccented syllables between the accents, instead of just one ("please how", "in a", and "my own")

Those could be fixed by doing something like this:

Oh, tell me now, how did they find me here?
I keep my ducks in rows; and mind my rear


I hope that's helpful! :)

   ~Posted by Douglas, Mar 17, 2009



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