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haiku: simple haiku attempt
Posted by Sylavash, Mar 16, 2009. 1240 views. ID = 2461

haiku

Posted by Sylavash, Mar 16, 2009. 1240 views. ID = 2461
This post was written in 1 minutes.
I am learning about haiku, and tried to write one. not sure if it worked or not.
This post has been awarded 12 stars by 4 readers.

Leaves slowly falling
Flooding land with colors
soon fading to snow

Copyright 2009 Sylavash. All rights reserved. FifteenMinutesOfFiction.com has been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work. For permission to reprint this item, please contact the author.
 


 
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This post has been awarded 12 stars by 4 readers.

Comments


Josiah T.
Mar 16, 2009
You should talk about the snow fading to green.... ;-)
   ~Posted by Josiah T., Mar 16, 2009

Douglas
Mar 16, 2009
I think you're missing a syllable in the second line. "Flooding lands with colors" is 6. "Flooding the land" would be one way of fixing it.

Nice imagery, though.
   ~Posted by Douglas, Mar 16, 2009

Hannah
Mar 17, 2009
Much better than my last one. It had the word refrigerator on the last line.
   ~Posted by Hannah, Mar 17, 2009



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