ADVICE: Hello Spammer, Hello Scammer

Discussion related to the topic ADVICE: Hello Spammer, Hello Scammer

Forum : 2007 - 2008 Anthology : ADVICE: Hello Spammer, Hello Scammer

Rabbit Stu
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 7:02 AM 
Hello Spammer. Hello Scammer

There are a few places in the last verse of this that you have to sort of slide over some syllables to make it work (kil'manjaro, nigerya, criterya). I'm content with those, because I think people figure out how to read it without a problem.

What I'm NOT content with is the second line of this:

Hello spammer. Hello scammer.
Oh, to beat you with a sledge hammer!
But my mom says "Be forgiving,"
So I'll put my weapons
Down with great misgiving.

You can make this work in the context of the melody, but you've got to think about it a bit to make it work.

I can't figure out another way to phrase that line though.

Josiah T.
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 8:28 AM 
I think the part that gets me in that verse is having "So I'll put my weapons" and then "Down with great misgiving" in the two separate lines... my brain wants to read "So I'll put my weapons down" and then "With great misgiving." But then that messes it up even more...

Rabbit Stu
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 8:32 AM 
I probably shouldn't even have a line break there, because there really is no break in rhythm:

Hello spammer. Hello scammer.
Oh, to beat you with a sledge hammer!
But my mom says "Be forgiving,"
So I'll put my weapons down with great misgiving.

Hannah
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 9:15 AM 
I really can't find anything that I would change about this one. I think it's hilarious. The only thing about that paragraph was the weapons part. It just doesn't slide right. Though I can't think of how to change it...

Rabbit Stu
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 9:23 AM 
I don't believe the line about weapons needs any changing. Try singing it (if you know the tune). I believe it fits perfectly without any alteration.

Hannah
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 9:28 AM 
Oh, I didn't try doing it out loud. I only did it in my head. It's sounds great the way it is.

Josiah T.
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 9:56 AM 
haha, the other thing you could do, would be to find a video of the original song on Youtube and read the poem while listening to the song. :-)

Katie
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 10:29 AM 
Hmm. The only bone I have to pick is this part:

Hello spammer. Hello scammer.
Wish that you had better grammar!
Hate to think that you get paid,
Maybe you should spend a year in second grade.

I think it would fit better if you had another syllable or something in the "hate to think that you get paid" part. To me, it doesn't flow well. (And yes, I found a clip of the song on YouTube and sang al0ng to it.) I want to make paid into two syllables, which, I think, would work if you had a few extra words in there somewhere.

If that makes any sense.

Rabbit Stu
Posted at: Mar 10, 2008 at 10:41 AM 
Yes, both paid and grade are two syllable words, which if you are simply reading it as a poem doesn't really work, but we do that to words all the time when we're singing.

First example that comes to mind: amazing grace how sweet the sound that saves a wretch like me.

The word "amazing" is sung as 4 syllables, and the word "a" is sung as two syllables.

So, while I did wish I could have found a way to avoid doing the two-syllable thing, I didn't really see that as a mortal sin. If someone sees a way around it, I'd be glad to hear it.

Milton
Posted at: Mar 12, 2008 at 1:53 PM 
"Hello spammer. Hello scammer.
I'd beat you with a sledge hammer,
But my mom says "Be forgiving,"
So I'll put my weapons down with great misgiving."

Gets rid of an extra syllable...

Rabbit Stu
Posted at: Mar 12, 2008 at 6:11 PM 
My hero! That's just what I was looking for. Thank you!
Forum : 2007 - 2008 Anthology : ADVICE: Hello Spammer, Hello Scammer

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