Favorite Quotes

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KC Rell
Posted at: Feb 13, 2009 at 12:08 PM 
From Maximum Ride. I'm a HUGE fan of those book. But not the 's' at the end, because that would be all the books, and I'm not so much a fan of the 4th one :c

"I love Nudge. Nudge is a great kid. But that motormouth of hers could turn Mother Teresa into an axe murderer." -Max

[Being questioned by scientists] "What is your name?"
"My name is seven-five-nine-nine-three-nine-ex-dash-one. Junior." -Max

"I vill now destroy all de Snickuh Bahz!"

"I just want you to hold my hand." -Max
"I am holding your hand." -Fang
"Oh. I knew that." -Max

"Tell us about your sense of direction. How does it work?"
"Well, it's like I have a GPS inside me. One of the talking ones. I tell it where I want to go, and it tells me, Go twenty miles, turn left, take Exit Ninety-four, and so on. It can be pretty bossy, frankly."
Their eyes widened. "Really?"
"No, you idiot," I said in disgust. "I don't know how it works."

"Did you know that wasn't me, the other Max?"
"Right away."
"She offered to cook breakfast."

"I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that. And for so long."

"How high can you fly?"
"I'm not sure. Let me check my tummy altimeter." [Pulls up shirt and looks at stomach] "That's funny. It was here this morning...."

"Higher than a plane?"
"Yep. We can go so high that we can't even hear the rubber band making the little propeller go around--thwip, thwip, thwip." She made a circling motion with one finger. She frowned. "You meant a toy plane, right?"

[Being herded]
"Baa...Baaa." -Nudge
[Starts laughing]
"How can you laugh?" -M2
"Well, she baaed like a sheep." -Max

Yes, I swallowed down all the snide comments I could make about his driving, unlike Fang, who had gone ahead and made snide comments when I drove. That's because I'm a better person, frankly. I am a freaking princess when it comes to other people's feelings.
"Yo, dogbreath," I said to Total. "Get your paws off the Everglades."

"And you're blind?"
"Were you born that way?"
"How did you become blind, uh, Jeff, is it?"
"Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened."

"I look like prep school Barbie." [Sees Max's outfit] "Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend."

And, of course, some Twilight quotes. I just thought I'd say how much I hated the movie. TOTALLY ruined every character except for basically Rosalie, Esme, & Emmett. Grr...anyways, I don't think everyone should be going as crazy over these books as they do. It's insane. There's ads EVERYWHERE. I loved these books. That's it. I'm done now >.<

"Didn't I hurt you at all?" -Bella
"Are you kidding? If you hadn't started screaming, I might not have figured out that you were trying to punch me." -Jacob

"What kind of world is this? Where's the justice?"
"Take it easy, Bella."
"Shut up, Jacob. Just shut up! This is so unfair!"
"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV."

"I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?"
"Go fetch a space heater," he grumbled. "I'm not a St. Bernard."

"Please! Do you mind!"
"Do you think you could attempt to control your thoughts?"
"No one said you had to listen. Get out of my head."
"I wish I could. It's like you're shouting them at me."

"This hostage stuff is fun."

"Speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow porsche."

"You run over one person with your car and it's not even one of the popular ones and everyone gets on your case."
-Micheal Scott

I need coffee. I'm getting blood in my caffeine.

Smile. It confuses people.

You're now aware you can't say "Irish Wristwatch."

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
Others don't

I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try and keep up.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Edited by KC Rell, Mar 21, 2009 at 11:10 AM

Posted at: Feb 13, 2009 at 12:15 PM 
Wow, Kylee. You took an ENTIRE page. Good on ya'. :D That caffeine one was funny. Stop trying to get me to read Twilight! It'll never happen. Get over it.

Posted at: Feb 13, 2009 at 12:16 PM 
Oh, and that movie was....{censored word} bad. What was with the music?! It was a super dramatic part and it was country music that made me feel like I should start doing the dosey doe. Ok, getting off the topic of this forum...thing.

KC Rell
Posted at: Feb 13, 2009 at 5:06 PM 
I have never tried to make you read Twilight *laugh*. Just because I quote it....

Those who don't know me think I'm quiet. Those who know me wish I was. (So me!)

"Barack is president! You are black, Stanley!"
-Micheal Scott

"Of course the prince gets the bed all to himself." -Max
"That's right. The prince has a gaping side wound." -Fang

Life scares me. That's why I read.

Procrastinators unite!

KC Rell
Posted at: Feb 13, 2009 at 5:56 PM 
Oh. My. Gosh. I KNOW! That part made me SO mad! It was the most intense part, and they might as well have played Dixie Chicks. That was pretty lame. But I have to admit the song playing during the whole baseball scene was cool. And what was WITH RP's acting!? They couldn't have gotten a better actor? One that decently even looked like Edward? He's so ugly! And his acting is terrible!...now that my little rant is over...a few more :D This is fun.

"Who are you and what the * have you done with my brother?"

"I held you in my hand, Wanderer, and you were so beautiful..." -Ian (The Host)

"We both hear a voice in our head. That's never a good sign."
-Melanie (The Host)

Meanwhile, in a town named Sporks...

"Bet you were kind of cute, pup girl."

[Asks what name is] "Jessica Miranda Alicia Tangerine Butterfly."

Posted at: Feb 13, 2009 at 8:41 PM 

"Who are you and what the * have you done with my brother?"

Had to ask that a couple times.

KC Rell
Posted at: Feb 13, 2009 at 9:48 PM 
I never thought I'd see the day when I was quoting Gilmore Girls...

"On the phone?"
"Long distance."
"God lives in London?"
"My mother lives in London."
"Your mother is God?"

"After all, Fnick is superman."

Rock, paper, Chuck Norris. I win!

Happy Single's Awareness Day!

Just hand over the chocolate and no one will get hurt.

I know a lot of random stuff nobody cares about but I tell them anyway.

A short psychic just escaped from jail. She is now a small medium at large.

I'll keep my freedom, guns, & money. You can keep your "change."

"You look tired." -Alice
"Yeah. Near-death experiences do that to me." -Bella

Posted at: Feb 14, 2009 at 7:48 PM 
The Less You Know, The More You Make
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

The less you know, the more you make.

Posted at: Feb 14, 2009 at 11:36 PM 
''Rory, the penal system is not something we enjoy. It's something with a name that makes us giggle.'' -Lorelai Gilmore

Lorelai: Hey, how is it out there?
Michel: It is cold and gray like a fat, dead pigeon.

Emily: An education is the most important thing in the world, next to family.
Lorelai: And pie.

"Yes, but would a liar bring mini Mounds bars?" -Michael Scott

"I don't care what Jim says. That is NOT the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure." -Dwight K. Schrute {Jim tells Dwight that the Benjamin Franklin actor that came to the office was really the real Benjamin Franklin. Dwight spends the entire day trying to prove that he isn't.}

KC Rell
Posted at: Feb 15, 2009 at 6:05 PM 
"That is NOT the real Benjamin Franklin!" lol! I LOVE that part!

"It was the Valium talking!" -Max

"How strongly are you opposed to Grand Theft Auto?"

I'll wear a different color as soon as they make a color darker than black.

"And I can't even take off my hat because then I'm Hitler."

How many Twilight fans know that Forks Washington is not that exciting? (%100 AGREE!)

Clumsy people unite!
...at the bottom of the stairs.

At 8am today someone poisons the coffee. DO NOT DRINK THE COFFEE. More instructions will follow.
Future Dwight."

Those who throw objects at the crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

Choose a side:
Edward | Jacob | Mashed Potatoes

And Resa would turn into a bird every night, the end...
wait, WHAT!?

Renesmee Carlie Cullen.
Because Belward Rosammett Jaspice Esmisle was just too weird....

Panda's are the least racist animal. They're black, white, AND Asian!

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

Posted at: Feb 16, 2009 at 8:15 AM 
Remember, There are no short cuts to Heaven.

KC Rell
Posted at: Feb 17, 2009 at 2:24 PM 
"In fact, why don't I just write a book about it? 'Why It's So Obvious Fang Likes Max.' - By Iggy, the blind kid, who seems to be the only one who's noticed."

Gazzy: "Look, the Pentagon! I've always wanted to see it!"
Iggy: "Me too!"
Max: "Yeah, you can touch it and feel that it's white."
Gazzy: "Dive bomb!"
Max: "No, Gazzy, don't! It's a government building! They're even more paranoid than we are!"

"They were bad fliers. And in their minds, they weren't all Kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, Remember to flap!"

Fang gave me a look like, You sap.
"Who let whom have a freaking dog?"

Dr. Martinez: "I take it you don't want me to call your parents?"
Max: "Uh, no." Hello, lab? May I speak to the test tube please?

Did I want a dog? No. Did I need a dog? Also no. We were six kids running for our lives, not knowing where our next meal was coming from. Could we afford to feed a dog? Wait for it...NO.

Jeb: "You were designed to be very smart, Max. We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing."
Max: "And yet I still can't program my DVD player."

Ter Borcht: "Den you vill be exterminated."
Max: "Ooh. If I had boots on, I'd be quaking in them."

Ter Borcht: "Is dere anysing special about you? Anysing vorth saving?"
Fang: "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."

Dr. Martinez: "Fang? Are you--like Max?"
Fang: "Nope. I'm the smart one."

Max: "Clear vanilla notes, too-sweet chocolate chips, distinct flavor of brown sugar. A decent cookie, not spectacular. Still a good hearted cookie, not pretentious. What say you?"
Fang: "It's fine."
Some people just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

~Edited by KC Rell, Feb 19, 2009 at 9:19 AM

KC Rell
Posted at: Mar 2, 2009 at 9:21 PM 
You're a great friend, but if the zombies chase us I'm tripping you.

To explain something that could have been said in 2 sentences.

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

Seth: Maybe we should be thinking something like, "We come in peace."
Jacob: Go for it.
Seth: Edward? Edward, you there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid.
Jacob: You sound stupid, too.

Monopoly: A really boring way to find out just how bad you are with money.

Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade's gonna suck.

Seth: I mean, it makes sense. And if it helps her, it's a good thing, right?
Jacob: ......What?
Leah: Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby.
Jacob: On his head, apparently.
Leah: He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too.
Jacob: Lead paint?
Leah: Looks like it.

I never claimed to be normal. Just human.

You can't buy happiness. But you can buy Ice Cream. So it's kinda the same thing.

Life sucks, then you die.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
-The Princess Bride

Why yes, I do randomly use a British accent.

"In my world, everyone's a pony. And we all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies! Ahhh..." -Katie (Horton Hears a Who)

Rock on.

I'm not short I'm--
Yeah, I'm just short.

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Wait, nevermind...I forgot.

I'm just one BIG freakin' ray of sunshine.

We can scare people with our knowledge of VeggieTale songs.

People are like slinkies. Basically useless, and yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.
~Edited by KC Rell, Mar 21, 2009 at 11:15 AM

Posted at: Mar 4, 2009 at 6:14 PM 
The reporters wait without.
Wait without what?
Anything to report.
Wizard of Id

KC Rell
Posted at: Mar 7, 2009 at 7:02 PM 
Guns don't kill people. Gaping holes in vital organs kill people.

Pie is fun! It's edible, and it drives everyone crazy trying to figure out its value.

If you trip me when the zombies attack I will drag you down with me.

Posted at: Mar 8, 2009 at 11:18 AM 

Pie is fun! It's edible, and it drives everyone crazy trying to figure out its value.

Pi is actually quite fun and useful. You couldn't make pie without pi.

KC Rell
Posted at: Mar 14, 2009 at 9:07 PM 
I put two and six together and came up with one single question that would get right to the crucial heart of the matter.
"Whaaat?" -Max

"Any naesea? Headache?" -Jeb
"Yep. And it's standing here talking to me." -Max

"And it's time to retire you too."
"Retire as in kill? It today's news, seven people were 'retired' in a horrific accident on Highway Seventeen. 'Jimmy, don't retire that bird with your shotgun.' 'Please, sir, don't retire me! You can have my wallet!'" -Max

My favorite? The Institute for Realizing Your Pet's Inner Potential. Anyone who can explain that to me, drop a line. -Max

(Bible) "I'm borrowing it. Trying to strengthen my relationship with the Lord."

Iggy - "Can I have a turn driving?"
Max - "Oh, ha ha."

You know the other strange thing about Europe? It's weensy. It was like, oops, I blinked, there goes Belgium!

Random Quotes

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.

I'm the girl who can watch tons of horror movies and not get scared, but scream at the top of my lungs when toast pops out of the toaster.

I mentally correct your grammar while you're speaking. (That's me. I really do that xD)

Josiah T.
Posted at: Mar 20, 2009 at 7:35 AM 
I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.

~Edited by Josiah T., Mar 20, 2009 at 7:35 AM

KC Rell
Posted at: Mar 20, 2009 at 7:48 PM 
Dear Jacob,
I win.

Dear Edward,
I have your daughter.

"What's for breakfast? O Negative or AB Positive?"

Disney gave me unrealistic expectations about hair.

Easily distracted by shiny objects.

Who would leave a perfectly good head lying around?
-King Julien

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people with a pencil for being stupid.

Gun Owner
Select one.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

KC Rell
Posted at: Mar 22, 2009 at 9:09 PM 
Don't ever catch a falling star. You'll burn your hands.

If you're OCD and you know it
wash your hands!

Every day I give my children two choices for dinner. Take it or Leave it.

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